Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bittersweet Agony

There are few things in life as disappointing or painful as the end of friendship. Even fewer than when that disappointment and pain come after months of agonizing over whether or not to keep holding on, to keep trying despite the sting of betrayal and seeming disregard for you or your feelings. After months of suffering at the hands of someone you trusted, regardless of whether you dared to speak openly and honestly, or whether you keep silent and try not to make waves, you finally have a moment that you hope and pray will help settle the dust. Seizing that moment, you have very little hope of a positive, dramatic solution. More, you simply hope for acknowledgment. Instead you find more of the same... and something else. An extra little shove to finally accomplish what you've been trying to accomplish all these months. The ability to step away. To remove yourself from the continued from the continued, consistent pain at the hands of someone you once trusted with your most intimate thoughts.

It's liberating, bringing to a close a situation that has been physically, mentally, and emotionally detrimental for so long. What remains is a lingering question of the friendship. Do you try to mend it now that the external strain causing the problems has been removed? Do you give it time? Or does that make you a door mat, and you're better off simply giving up? Do you walk away and never look back? How can you measure the depth and value of friendship? More over, when does it cease to be worth fighting for?


  1. I think you've given enough. If the other party wants to be in the friendship, they will make some effort. If not, then well... it's not worth any more effort.

  2. i had a situation where my best friend and i had drifted apart and things became filled with resentment and hurt feelings and then anger. we ended things on a bitter note. after nearly a year and the death of mutual friend we reconnected both contrite and more mature and grown from the situation. i wouldn't recommend what we went through but we're better for it. but sometimes you just have to let a friendship go.